What to do when you hate being Pregnant

What to do When you Hate Being Pregnant

I just realized I hate being pregnant and that’s OK. Don’t get me wrong, I of all people know what a gift the ability to have a baby is. Because of reproductive health issues, I was sure I would never get to be a mom. After a year of trying to have a baby and starting to give up, I conceived a baby boy. Therefore, I do not take pregnancy for granted; I just hate it.

Why I hate being pregnant

What to do When you Hate Being PregnantI expected to have uncomfortable symptoms with pregnancy like morning sickness and fatigue, but I never imaged they would be this extreme. I figured those symptoms were just bad sides to a good meal, not the main course. Surely I would tolerate being pregnant but still enjoy it. However, I hate being pregnant, and I feel guilty for it.

I am almost aways uncomfortable weather that is from back pain, heartburn, swollen ankles, constipation, fatigue, dizziness, or whatever new symptom arises that day. I have to pretend to smile as my over-excited mother in law rubs my heavy belly every time I see her. Feeling the baby kick has turned from exciting to annoying and my mood has changed from happy to overwhelmed, sad, and angry. I feel unattractive and worthless. I can not accomplish anything on my to-do list, and I am afraid that I will fail as a mom. How can I raise a baby and be a good mother if I can’t even handle the pregnancy?

It’s ok to hate being pregnant

I am coping with hating pregnancy by realizing that it is not just ok, but it is completely justified to hate pregnancy. I believe that many other women also hate being pregnant, but they are just too ashamed to admit it. Could you truthfully tell an excited relative or friend how terrible pregnancy is? Though it is difficult for one to confess they hate pregnancy, it is important for pregnant women to let others know that pregnancy is not always enjoyable.

Dealing with pregnancy hatred

  • Realizing that pregnancy and motherhood are not the same has helped me overcome the guilt I feel for hating pregnancy. Just because you do not want to be pregnant does not mean you do not want to have a baby. Pregnancy is just a process that gets you to the end result of raising a child. You can hate pregnancy but still love your baby just like you can hate college but still love your degree. Furthermore, once the baby is born, you will not have fluctuating hormones and terrible symptoms coming between you and your child.
  • Telling supportive family members like my husband that I hate being pregnant has eased some of my stress. It is helpful to have someone listen to you complain. Having your feelings out in the open prevents you from having to pretend like everything is great.  Furthermore, finding other pregnant women to sympathize with can help you feel like what you’re going through is normal.
  • Learn how to deal with your feelings toward pregnancy one day at a time. Just because you hate being pregnant one day does not mean you can not enjoy it the next. Marvel at the wonders of pregnancy only on the days you feel like it.
  • Try focusing on something other than your pregnancy when you are having a hard time dealing with it. Separating yourself from your pregnancy may be difficult since your bump is the center of everyone’s conversation, but with some effort it is possible. I like to remove myself from the thought of pregnancy by taking a warm bath while drinking some hot tea and listening to relaxing music. Just find something that relaxes you and keeps your mind off the baby.

8 thoughts on “What to do When you Hate Being Pregnant

  1. I had a pretty easy pregnancy, and I really did enjoy being pregnant….even so, there were days that it was just THE WORST and felt like it would never end. The good news is that it always does!
    Your tips are really great. Hopefully you don’t have too long to go. 🙂
    Stay strong and keep complaining, mama!

  2. It’s totally fine to hate being pregnant. Pregnancy does a lot of ugly things to your body and your emotions. I remember the extreme exhaustion. So much that I literally would sit at my desk debating quitting so I could go home and sleep, ha! Just remember in the long run it’s a short phase of life and you’ll get through it.

    1. I appreciate the comment. I would totally have quit, I am just a homemaker right now, and I wish I could quit that sometimes. I hope women become more outspoken about the less fun side of pregnancy so that we could all become assured of how normal it is.

  3. You are definitely not alone! I had terrible back spasms during pregnancy and was just so uncomfortable. I couldn’t stand hearing from other women how much they loved being pregnant! I think they are either the lucky few, or they are lying! Hang in there though, it is worth it in the end and soon the discomforts of pregnancy will be a distant memory.

    1. Thank you for the inspirational words. It’s almost over and then its time for the fun stuff. Back spasms sound terrible especially when the regular backaches are bad enough.

  4. I completely understand your feeling. My first pregnancy wasn’t too bad, for the most part I enjoyed it. My second pregnancy I was so sick, in and out of the hospital and in so much pain. If my second pregnancy had been my first I probably wouldn’t have had another. I loved the thought that I was having a baby, but hated everything else. I was so glad when it came time to deliver. I worked in an OB/GYN office for 9 years and saw some Moms who were the perfectly happy, perfectly beautiful pregnant Mom and I saw some Moms who dragged themselves into the office just wanting it to be over. I think you are right, sharing that fact and letting people know how you feel helps the situation. Thank you for sharing this post in the All For Mamas Link Party Week 9 #allformamas. I will share this post on the Facebook group page #All For Mamas Link Party, I will share it on my page Blended Life Happy Wife, Pinterest, twitter, google + and stumbleupon.

    1. Thank you for commenting. I never knew how many women feel this way during pregnancy. It is something no one ever talks about, so everyone just assumes it’s the happiest time of your life. I appreciate the shares.

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